Weekend Listomania (Special Don't Play That Song For Me Audio/Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental huge-tracts-of-land developer Fah Lo Suee and I will be heading to scenic Polk County, Wisconsin to host a telethon endeavoring to raise money for a noble public servant on the brink of undeserved financial ruin.

At a town hall meeting in Polk County, Wisconsin earlier this year, Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI) was asked whether he'd vote to cut his $174,000 annual salary. Duffy sort of hedged, and went on to talk about how $174,000 really isn't that much for his family of seven to live on. Then he went on to say he supports cutting compensation for all public employees, along the lines of what Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has proposed for the Badger State

Oh, the humanity -- forced to subsist on $174,000. In any case, Fah Lo Suee and I will be hosting the 48 hour event -- which we're calling Duffy Aid -- and we hope for your support. Pledge whatever dollars you can spare at 1-800-SCHMUCK; operators are standing by.

And with that noted, here's a fun little project to help us wile away the idle hours until regularly scheduled PowerPop activities return:

Most Disappointing, Wrong-Headed or Just Plain Silliest Post-Elvis Cover Version of a Pop/Rock/Soul Song!!!

No arbitrary rules, you're welcome very much, and yes, I'm sure we've done something similar to this before, but I know for a fact that my selections this time out are brand spanking new. So sue me.

And said totally top of my head Top Five selections are:

5. Kiss -- 2000 Man



Apart from the fact that nobody in this band has what could charitably be described as an interesting voice, I can't imagine a version of the song that misses the point more. The intro alone warrants a poke up the nose with a burnt stick.

4. Material Issue -- Bus Stop




From the mostly exellent Sing Hollies in Reverse tribute album, and a surprising misfire. I love Material Issue, and on paper they were a great choice to cover the song, but the result is about as generic bar band as can be.

3. The Hollies -- Purple Rain




And speaking of the Hollies, let's just say that the Prince classic doesn't really play to their strengths, no matter how much Allan Clarke may have wanted to sing it.

2. Lady Gaga -- Stand by Me



More proof, as if it was needed, that power corrupts mediocre session singers as thoroughly as anybody else. I should also add that, assuming she's playing the piano here, she manages to get a chord wrong during the first verse. Which is usually considered really hard to do on a four chord song.

And the Numero Uno was-this-trip-really-necessary? cover of them all simply has to be....

1. Tom Jones -- Kiss



"Think I better dance now." Uh, Tom -- please don't put yourself out on my account.

Alrighty, then -- what would YOUR choices be?